More Beautiful Than
by Becca the fiend
Summary: This is why Doumeki should not attempt to be cheesy on purpose. It is bound to go awry. Crackfic. Conatins unnatural cheese, weddings, epic failures, concerned parents, and DouWata. Read at own risk. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: xxxHolic Isn't mine, and it never has been. :(

Warning: Contains two men in love, and men getting married to one another. If this offends you, go find something else to read.

* * *

The service had been small. About 20 people had been invited, tops. There had been Doumeki's parents, obviously, and his parents' siblings, and their families. Himawari and Kohane had also been invited, of course, along with Watanuki's former landlords (who'd taken care of him following the death of his parents), an old fortune-teller who had apparently predicted this whole connection years ago, and a brunette boy who Doumeki believed was named Syaoran. (Doumeki didn't know this Syaoran guy, but let Watanuki invite him, and the woman who seemed to be his girlfriend, Sakura, without asking any questions. Surely if he needed to know, he'd know, eventually.)

Yuuko, of course, had insisted on presiding over the ceremony, and neither man was stupid enough to contest her decision. Besides, it would take a lot more searching (and actual cash, as opposed to services) to find a different person to preside over the wedding. Besides, who was more qualified to join the two in "holy matrimony" than the Witch of Dimensions? (Though Doumeki was a little skeptical of how his family might perceive of the woman's tendency to wear garments that bordered on indecent.)

The ceremony itself had run rather smoothly, which was a miracle in itself. Especially since the Zashiki Warashi, accompanied, of course, by the Ame Warashi, had dropped in for the service, giving their congratulations to the couple before leaving. (They didn't stay for the after-party, either because of Doumeki's family, or because of the Zashiki Warashi's inability to tolerate human malice for too long. Which reason, exactly, was unclear.)

The following reception, which Doumeki's parents had insisted on holding at the family temple, was not so lucky as the ceremony itself, unfortunately.

It had started off fine, of course, as these things always do. Watanuki had prepared the food beforehand, despite the Doumeki family's initial protests ("It's _your_ wedding, dear! Let us do all the work for you! You should be relaxing on your big day."), and everyone was enjoying it immensely.

After the cake had been cut (which, again, had been made by Watanuki, with somewhat less resistance), and the guests had been served their individual slices, Doumeki stood up from where he sat next to his new husband, and cleared his throat to get attention.

Immediately, everyone stopped what they were doing, and turned to stare at him, as small crowds usually did. Feeling uncomfortable for only a moment, Doumeki addressed the guests.

"I want to say thank you to everyone for supporting us," Doumeki started, earning a brief applause from his audience, "and I want to say something to my husband."

Doumeki turned to face Watanuki, who looked a little shocked, and, for the moment, slightly pleased. Doumeki wasn't surprised. The man had been mentioning just a few weeks ago that he liked it when Doumeki did romantic things, and this was certainly a romantic move. (Or at least, all the chick flicks told him that. Doumeki had done his research, after all, and Watanuki did have a rather feminine range of emotions.)

"Watanuki," Doumeki began after a brief pause, "I cannot say how very glad I am that I met you. You changed the way I looked at the world."

Doumeki felt cheesy as he spoke, but he continued on. Sure, this wasn't exactly his thing, but if the guys in the movies could do it, so could he. After all, he had altered many of their lines for this speech. Doumeki was _not_ a sappy man, and he wasn't that creative. But if Watanuki liked it, he was willing to try some new things. A happy Watanuki was a slightly quieter Watanuki. And a happier Watanuki made Doumeki happier. Not that Doumeki really knew how to articulate that in the best way. But at least he was trying.

"I don't think it would be possible to care more for you than I do," he continued, taking note of Watanuki's slightly teary, and rather pleased expression. Well, at least it was working. And now it was time for the grand finale. Doumeki's expression remained ever impassive as he delivered the ending of his little 'dedication.'

"You mean the world to me, and," Doumeki paused for dramatic effect, "you are more beautiful than a plate of inarizushi."

Watanuki's ensuing explosion of violence and unintelligible screaming had the couple working for _years_ to convince the Doumeki family that no, they were not getting a divorce, and no, it was not an abusive relationship. Doumeki had also been evicted to the couch for a good month before Watanuki forgave him, and Yuuko had yet to let them live the moment down.

However, Doumeki did learn one important thing from the whole experience:

Some things were just better left to the professionals.

* * *

AN: Yesterday, my friend, who was writing a story for fun, asked me to complete the phrase: "You're more beautiful than..." She wanted some ideas for a guy to say to woo a princess. She'd had some things like: "You're as beautiful as a rose" or something along those lines, and, just to be an idiot, I said: "You're more beautiful than.... a plate of spaghetti!" (We'd been saying something in reference to spaghetti earlier, lol. Don't ask..) and then my friend said: "I'm going to use that as him joking with her." and I'm like: "whoop!" and then.. I thought of the line some more, and then DouWata popped into my mind, and this was born. And then I lol'd, and had to share it with you.

Plus, I wanted Doumeki and Watanuki to get married. xD And if the romantic dialogue seems unnatural, well.. that's probably because I suck at cheese-fests. I just have to laugh when I think of them. Plus, it was weird writing it from Doumeki, so.. yeah. That didn't help. xD But, like I said, Doumeki's just trying to be romantic for Watanuki. Not that it's working, but... Whatever. Details, details. Haha.

This is another one of my methods of helping myself get over the recent angst in xxxHolic. I write crack. Whoop!

Let me know what you thought! I personally, loved the part after Doumeki's great line. xD The idea cracks me up, hahaha. But what did you guys think? Let me know! (Also, hooray! Becca the Fiend is slowly getting back into her fanfic groove. This is good, yuss.)

Until next time, duckies~


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